I often think that social media marketing has become an oxymoron.  Why?  Because so many companies try to gain entry into this new medium using the outdated tactics of traditional marketing.  Do you have a measurable goal for social media that goes beyond the mass-marketing mindset of "get more followers and make more sales?"

I have seen so many social media campaigns go wildly off course when they are executed using this Madison Avenue mindset.  Social media is not just another form of advertising.  We treat it like a monologue, when it is actually a dialogue.  Social media really is a new form of communication, not just another medium to be included in a traditional marketing plan.

For those of us who grew up in the traditional advertising world, we just can't help ourselves.   We know that social media is two-way personal interaction, but we still tend to fall back to practiced one-way communication.  In the old ad world, copy space was scarce, and messages were short with succinct calls to action.  It was a world guided by the need to quickly bang the drum and get attention.

The true power of social media is its ability to persuade by socializing, not advertising.  It has a longer selling cycle. This more leisurely pace often chafes the hurried corporate agenda.  Impatience is its most beguiling temptation and most ruinous attribute.  Social media does not tolerate commercial exploitation and over-the-top selling. Yet, a casual read through many company social media pages quickly reveals a disingenuous, transparent selling agenda.  No one wants to be friends with a salesman working a crowd.

Successful social media campaigns have a deeper purpose and are all about human interaction.  Zappos uses it to showcase great customer service.  Ford & Molson use it put a human face on an impersonal company brand.  Dell uses it to battle a perception of bad customers service.

Put your social media posts to the test.  Evaluate your fan page.  These telltale signs show customers they are a sales mark to be harvested, not a friend to be wooed.

Do most of your posts ask fans to do something for you?

"Watch Dancing with the Stars tonight on Channel 12."  Plain and simple, this is ad copy, not a social conversation.  This station isn't interested in befriending anyone.  All they want is higher ratings for primetime TV and they hope you'll be kind enough to tune in.  Sure, they may get some people who tune in, but this kind of transparent selling does not invite communication.  Don't use social media as an impersonal billboard.

Instead, make it personal by showing your own passion.  "I'm betting Emily & Tom will take the top spot in tonight's Dancing with the Stars.  They are on a roll!  What do you think?"

Do you start all the conversations?

Do you post an announcement on your social media page, then wait for the community to comment on your brilliance?  This tactic is a throwback from traditional advertising where the ad makes a statement, then the marketers stand back and wait for the public to react to the clever sell.

As you look at your posts, do you notice that you make the first comment, then disappear from the ensuing discussion?   Smart communicators will make a comment, wait for the community to respond, then follow up again and again.  The conversations have many voices and feature long threads of comments from numerous followers.

Do you ever post about something besides yourself and your company?

Are post after post all about what's going on in your life, your work, and your success?  Do you talk about anything besides the products that will make you money? There is nothing worse than being stuck at a dinner table with someone who never asks a question, and only wants to talk about themselves.  Are you one of these people?

Does your picture look like a publicity photo or a picture taken by a friend?

Airbrushed, perfect, plastic-grinned photos set the tone for your page.  Is this a place where real people talk about honest things or a place where fans dutifully come to worship the master?  Show the community a genuine smile, an approachable posture, and a few imperfections.  The more perfect the look, the less they will trust you.

How many question marks are in your posts?

Lots of question marks mean you're genuinely engaged with your community.  You ask questions and solicit their opinions, feedback and guidance.  You are genuinely interested in the events in their lives.

Do you talk as much as you listen?

Count the number of posts for each person, then compare it to your posts.  Is it disproportionately your voice?  That's a sign you're not fostering discussion and connectivity, and have set yourself up to play the role of the star. 

Are there discussion threads where you do not lead but merely participate?

This is a sign of a healthy group that feels a sense of ownership in your social media page.   Relationships spring up naturally between participants, and the page has a vigorous sense of community.  By asking questions and fostering commenting, you build a self-sustaining community that continues on regardless of your participation.  Ideally, you should be able to leave on vacation with no loss of commenting volume. 

Do you show only your company face?

Friends are not afraid to reveal their true opinions and honestly express how they feel.  Are your posts the social equivalent of a press release? Far too many social media pages do nothing but cheerlead for their company.  They toe the official company line and never admit failure or even controversy.  They are not comfortable when social media posts turn into frank and honest discussions of the product.  They expect everyone to be an unconditional fan.  Company staffers are more concern with damage control than honest discussion.

Social media gives our audience a voice and the right to ask very tough questions.  Companies that constantly evade tough questions or spin an issue will quickly find themselves attacked by their own fans.   If your company made a mistake, admit it, and own up quickly.   Show your fans you're a real human being, not a corporate shill.  Admit your failures, then follow up on how the company is trying to improve and make it right. 

Are you writing in conversational English or PR Speak?

Do your posts sound like a slightly modified press release?  "Newschannel 18 is proud to announce the hiring of a new investigative reporter."  Real people don't talk like this.  Social media talk is barbershop talk.  It's filled with incomplete sentences, slang, and frank honesty.  "Cool!  The new investigative guy starts today.  Hope he starts stirring up trouble right away."  This relaxed communication style is a friendly invitation for real people to chime in with their own thoughts.  It is an open door that invites your community to "come on in and sit a spell."

Do you comment on other's pages or just your own?

Sometimes, you need to pay a visit to someone else's house, not just your own.  Not everyone is going to find your page on their own.  By walking around the virtual neighborhood and visiting new friends, you'll keep abreast of the buzz, and share your passions with a whole new group.

Social media is turning advertising on its head.

Social media requires more attention and more manpower than traditional advertising.  In the past, we could create ads, send them out into the world, then forget about them.   Unfortunately, advertising will never be this simple again.  Customers could never talk back through their TV, magazines or newspapers.  

Traditional advertising, with its heritage of pronouncements, hard sell, repetition, and interruption, has been turned upside down.  Social media marketing is permission marketing.  Unless the message is about listening, pleasing and serving, it will simply be blocked. 

Social media is a conversation, and most ad agencies have had a hard time making the transition from talking to listening.  For the first time, advertisers will get instant and continual feedback on the effectiveness of their work.   It's going to be pretty terrifying in the beginning, but sooner or later, our skin will thicken up enough so we welcome their feedback.  Only then can we create messages that ride the waves of our customer's every need.

Graeme Newell is a broadcast and new-media marketing specialist.  He guarantees that his teasing seminar will immediately increase your news ratings or his workshop is free.  Find out more here.