Writing Clever Teases & Promos
by Graeme Newell
gnewell@602communications.com
http://www.602communications.com

For those of us who grew up in the 70s and 80's, great advertising was often synonymous with great cleverness.  The pun ruled the day.  On the old television series "Bewitched," the bumbling husband worked at an ad agency, and his clever witch wife Samantha was constantly saving the day by coming up with a magical advertising slogan that always included a pun:
"You'll flip over our pancakes."
"The best dog-gone vet in town."

This antiquated tradition of advertising puns still continues in television promos and teases today.  For some news writers, great teases are all about a continual string of witty antics. They'll jam two or three of them in a sentence.  For example, they will promote a dog show story with lines like, "This next story will leave you panting with anticipation, and hoping for a tasty treat when we return from the break, in two shakes of a dog's tail."  They see the tease as an unimportant whimsical outlet for humor.  It is a break from the more serious news topics - a place for a little journalistic horseplay.

Others treat the tease like it's a game show quiz question. Answer the question and you win a prize.  "What do bowling balls and skydivers have in common?  After the break, we'll tell you."  The thinking is that if the producer can come up with a viciously witty question, the viewer will be glued to the TV set, hoping to learn the answer to the vexing conundrum.

These kind of teases are especially commonplace within sportscasts.  The sportscaster ramps up her witty prose to a fever pitch for the teases.  She unleashes a tidal wave of clever puns, rhyming copy lines and human sound effects reminiscent of a comedy standup routine.  "How the brazen ball bouncer buoyed bad boy bragging boasts.  Tonight at ten." What is she talking about?

All these teases have one fatal flaw.  The producer so amuses himself with the wit of his own prose, he forgets to actually promote anything.  The purpose of a tease is to promise specific coverage coming up.  All this wit makes for a tease that's all foam and no beer.

There is a place for clever writing within a newscast.  Good witty writing helps make a newscast interesting. It provides a welcome break from the tragedy and destruction that pervade some shows.   It helps make the everyday seem a bit more interesting.  It's okay to be witty, but don't let the wit overtake the purpose of the tease - to entice viewers back for solid content.

Remember that to get a joke, you must have a rudimentary knowledge of the basic story facts.  Your tease is probably the viewer's first glimpse at the story.  While the producer has been immersed in the specifics of the event all day, it is easy to forget that the audience probably knows little to nothing about that story.

Take this tease for example: "The 'hair-raising' antics in the mayor's highway report." Clearly there is some sort of follicle-related mirth buried somewhere deep inside this tease, but the viewer won't be able to figure it out. While the producers in the newsroom are slapping themselves on the back for coming up with such an amazingly clever pun, the audience feels left out.  No one likes to be left out when it comes to a good joke. These type of teases are exclusionary.  Quite simply, they confuse.  They do not invite the viewer to stay for the full story.

Also remember that joke telling requires the recipient's full attention.  That's why most of us first announce the fact that we're going to tell a joke. While hanging out with friends at a tavern, we get their attention by starting with a line like "got a joke for you."  What we're doing is telling our friends to listen carefully because getting the joke requires they follow a story. 

Remember that most people watch teases and promos while they are amazingly distracted.  Most of us watch TV while doing other things: cooking, reading, vacuuming, ironing, eating.  Anything as complex as a clever pun often gets lost on a TV audience.  If you hope to get incredibly distracted viewers to remember the points of your tease, you must hit them with an ax in the middle of the forehead - no innuendo, no subtlety. Scream it loud, and say it over and over again.  Then, maybe they will remember it. 

Plainly bottom line the sell on your tease, THEN add the wit and cleverness.  We can entertain viewers with a witty writing style without neglecting basic components of a good tease.  Make sure there is a solid promise of meaty content in every tease.  Begin your promo by simply and plainly writing out your promises.  No flash.  No style.  Then, sauce it up with your clever writing.  By going through this process, you'll be sure to keep the fun and still deliver solid specifics that will entice your audience.

If you are headed to Promax, be sure and catch Graeme's two latest presentations:

Simplifying Your Brand
Thursday June 19th at 9:15am

Web Branding that Drives Revenue
Wednesday June 18th at 4pm

Graeme Newell is a broadcast and web marketing specialist.  His teasing seminars immediately raise news ratings, and he guarantees you will get results or his workshop is free.