How to Write a Tease for a Funeral
by Graeme Newell
gnewell@602communications.com
http://www.602communications.com

Death is a sad but omnipresent part of most newscasts.  Whether it is by natural causes or a grisly murder, all producers have faced the challenge of writing a tease for this obviously depressing topic.  Teases about death tend to be some of the strangest you will find in a newscast.  When facing the grim reaper, most writers instantly abandon any form of creative writing, falling back on hackneyed phrases with little meaning.  Many feel that any sort of creativity in this situation smacks of disrespect.

For example:
"Tonight a family is picking up the pieces after a tragic loss.  We'll show you how a community is coping with the departure of a man who will be remembered by all who had the pleasure of knowing him."

When you boil down these two sentences to their essence, all we've said is, "he's dead."  I completely expect this to be the standard funeral story.  How are they coping?  Probably the standard way that most families cope with a death.  Who will remember him?  The people who loved him.  If ever there was a time to channel surf, this is it.

We would never dream of using this sort of exalted stodgy prose in any other type of news story, but for some reason, death tends to bring out the worst kind of news writing.  "We'll honor the legacy of an esteemed community matriarch when we return from the break."  Who wants to stick around for the "honoring of a legacy?"  Wow, does that sound dull, and most funerals are dull.  If you're going to get me to stick around, you had better show me how this funeral has something interesting.

Begin by asking yourself, "should I tease this story?"  If you can't find one interesting thing about it, then why is it in your show.  If the answer is yes, then take the focus OFF the funeral and ON to more interesting topics.

1) Was there something unusual about the person's death?
Tease interesting points surrounding the person's death.  If this person died in an unusual way, you can obviously recap those facts in your intro.

2) Was there something unusual about the person's funeral?
In rare circumstances, there is actually something interesting about the ceremony. Were there soundbites from a candlelight vigil?  Was there an unusual ceremony?  Were people angry or outraged?  Was the person buried with a special personal memento? Tease these interesting specific details.  Avoid the standard meaningless phrases like "honoring the memory," "coping with the tragic loss," etc.

3) Write about the person's LIFE.
Take the focus off the person's death and focus on the vibrant parts of his life.  Was the deceased a wonderful father who took his kids to fly kites?  Then tease "the special way he bonded with his children on Sunday picnics."  Were there personal stories told at the funeral?  Even the most hardened street thug usually has one interesting aspect of his life.  Can we talk to the mourners about their favorite memory of the deceased?  When we focus on the person's life, he takes on real dimension.  He isn't just a dead body, he becomes real flesh and blood with a human story to tell.

Graeme Newell is a broadcast and web marketing specialist.  His teasing seminars immediately raise news ratings, and he guarantees you will get results or his workshop is free.