Avoid Conditional Words in Teases
By Graeme Newell
gnewell@602communications.com
<http://www.602communications.com>http://www.602communications.com

Most of us can spot a phony claim in a commercial from a mile off. You've probably seen the airline web site ads that promise "lower fares 'may' be available at our site." Right. I "might" be a millionaire in the future too. We've seen the weight loss products that claim "you could lose 'up to' 30 pounds." Those two little words clue into the fact that the product is probably a fake. You invite a friend to your party. She tells you "I just might be there." You know she is not coming. All of us have learned to sniff out conditional words in advertising. Most of us assume these hedging words hide some sleazy Madison Avenue tactics. These words clue us into the fact that the manufacturer may be trying to weasel out of committing to a product's real performance.

Most news teases are littered with this type of writing. "You just possibly might learn how to save money on your taxes." It is much easier to write teases that never commit to anything. If the content you teased in a story does not come through, technically, you didn't lie to anyone. Why? Because you never really promised anything. You just inferred a promise.

So often, we deal in stories where the facts are still coming together. A suspect might be the killer. The new product you're reviewing could be a dud. You just aren't sure yet. Making a specific promise at this point could mislead viewers. In situations like these, conditional words are a must.

The problem is we get so accustomed to using these kinds of words in our copy that we often just throw them in there to be safe. Including a few additional conditional words just hedges our bets a little, and assures we aren't making claims we can't back up.

These kinds of words are poison for a promo because they imply weak coverage. As much as possible, avoid words like "could, probably, possibly and might."

We do not want to convict anyone, but overuse of these words tells the viewer there "may" be nothing in your story. Instead, look for something you CAN commit to. Instead of saying "this new product could just maybe, might possibly work," say "a new product that has been used by thousands of people." It's honest and it eliminates those troublesome words. Instead o, "Bob just might possibly go out of business," use, "Bob's greatest fear is that his business will fail." There are instances when we must use conditional words, but I find that about half the time, they are unnecessary.

Avoid: "Police say he might be the murderer."
Instead: "Police say he is the primary suspect."
Avoid: "You might get caught in traffic this morning."
Instead: "Roads are clogged this morning. I'll show you the locations of the worst snarls."
Avoid: "It just might rain where you live this weekend."
Instead: "I'll show you where it's raining right now and how quickly these storms will move into our area."

Also, if you must use conditional words, can you attribute that indecision to a source? "The governor might veto the bill." Is the governor unsure or is the reporter unsure? If you are reporting on a news source's indecision, be sure to attribute that in the tease. For example, "Police say they might not have the right evidence." This places the indecision exactly where it belongs - with police. It correctly conveys that the source is unsure, not the journalist. If we leave out the attribution in this sentence, it could sound like our reporting team just didn't bother to check out the story. "Tonight we're not sure if the evidence is correct." You might conclude that the reporter just didn't do her job.

Whenever you write a conditional word, just take a moment to assure it's absolutely necessary. Use these words as sparingly as possible.